Divorce Mediation: How it Works
I just got off the phone with a party interested in mediation. He asked me to tell him something about the process.
I co-mediate divorces with John Duda, M.F.T., a family and couples therapist who practices on the peninsula south of San Francisco. John and I appreciate the collaborative aspect of our mediation practice. Our clients tell us they appreciate the male-female, therapist-lawyer perspectives we bring.
Divorce mediation sessions usually center on the main decisions which couples need to make. As part of your divorce preparation, consider these decisions:
Division of Assets and Liabilities:
--Residences: whether the house will be sold to a third party or whether one spouse can afford to buy out the other and remain in the house or some other arrangement that makes sense to the parties;
--Stuff: how the cars and household furnishings and stuff will be divided up;
--Businesses: how businesses will be evaluated and who will buy whom out;
--Liabilities: what debts are owed and how they will be apportioned;
--Budgeting: what each spouse’s expenses going forward are likely to be;
Spousal Support:
--Whether it’s necessary or wanted, and if so, how much it will be; and,
Child Support:
--Who will pay and how much; what it can include (health insurance, camps, college, etc.).
Parenting Plans:
--How to work out a plan that makes sense for the children, how the kids will split their time, what the transitions from one parent to the other will look like, etc.;
These are big decisions. As mediators we assist couples in coming to understand what their needs are and we help facilitate these forward-looking conversations.
Because these conversations can be hard, we usually schedule a series of two-hour sessions. In each session we work on one of the areas above.
When all of these areas have been discussed and agreements have been made, we draw up a Marital Settlement Agreement and assist the parties in obtaining their divorce decree.
We have divorce mediation offices in San Francisco, Burlingame and Palo Alto. I also work as a Parenting Coordinator.