Divorce Mediation: The Best Interests of the Children
I encourage parents during divorce to put their children first. This can be hard to do when you are in the middle of conflict. It reminds me of a cartoon in which a guy is standing on a sidewalk and there’s a sign above him with an arrow pointing down to where he’s standing which says: “In the Thick of It.”
When you’re “In the Thick of It,” sometimes it’s hard to think about the best interests of your children, or to see clearly what the best interests of the children are. Conflict brings hurt and anger, and maybe even fear, all emotional states in which looking out for Number One can be the default position. Sometimes there’s temptation to not call on our best selves during divorce, especially if there is a high conflict parent. By focusing on the best interests of your children, you can be motivated to think beyond yourself for their greater good. It will enhance your divorce mediation process, too.
Another way to think about this is to think about how your children, if they were older and/or knew all the circumstances, would react to your behavior during the divorce. Would they would be proud of you? If not, walk yourself back from the edge of disrespect or ignoble deeds. If so, you’re doing the right thing.
I have divorce mediation offices in San Francisco, Burlingame and Palo Alto. I also serve as a Parenting Coordinator and Special Master.