Divorce Preparation: Co-Parenting Skills
Many parents worry about the effect of divorce on children. One of the best ways of modeling good behavior and conflict resolution skills for your children is to choose divorce mediation. (Forgive the plug!)
Lynn Ingrid Nelson, a Minnesota strategic communication consultant, has written an article called “10 Commandments of Co-Parenting.” The commandments are:
1. Resolve conflicts without putting kids in the middle.
2. Treat the other parent with respect.
3. Observe appropriate boundaries.
4. Communicate regularly with the other parent.
5. Demonstrate positive conflict resolution.
6. Share with your co-parent what you need from him or her to do a good job of parenting.
7. Don’t allow all of the parenting tasks to fall to one parent.
8. Be consistent.
9. Help your children recognize the other parent with appropriate gifts or cards.
10. Don’t punish your in-laws by keeping your kids from them after a divorce.
Nelson's premise is that children deserve the opportunity to be loved by both parents. Following these “commandments” can be hard for parents locked in conflict, but they are behaviors well worth striving for. Your children will be happier and more well-adjusted for your efforts.
There is some great advice in this article, which is just as apt for parents who are together as well as for divorcing parents. You can read it here.
I have divorce mediation offices in San Francisco, Burlingame and Palo Alto. I am also a Parenting Coordinator.