featuredblogs resized 216.

Subscribe via E-mail

Your email:

Join the Conversation!

Civil Negotiation and Mediation Blog

Current Articles | RSS Feed RSS Feed

Impasse in Mediation: When You're Stuck, Ask Questions

impasse in mediation? ask questionsLawyers, in particular, are really, really good at spotting issues, marshaling facts and constructing arguments.  But, asking good questions to resolve a dispute?  Not so much.

Wharton School negotiation professor and author of Getting More, Stuart Diamond, notes, “[T]he single biggest cause of communication failure is misperception.  Further, he says:

“Often the things you hold so firmly and deeply are invisible to the other party—they don’t exist….So to persuade people with different perceptions, you must start with the notion that your ‘facts’—your ideas, thoughts and perceptions—are invisible to them.  What you see so clearly, the other party may not see at all.”

It stands to reason that if you are holding on to your ideas and they are invisible to the other side, that they are holding on to their ideas and those are probably invisible to you.  What to do?  Ask questions.

Diamond notes that one of the best problem solvers in TV history, Columbo, would ask, “Help me out here.  I’m confused…”  Try it yourself.  As Diamond says, “Isn’t it smarter to find out what they are thinking before making a decision about what to do?”

If you are at an impasse in mediation, you will want to find out what the other side is perceiving.  Too often, we assume we know.  Too often, we don’t know.  So ask.

Asking questions has several salutary effects:

  • It shows that you are interested in them and sets the table for persuasion
  • It helps you understand what Diamond calls “the pictures in their heads”
  • It doesn’t commit you to anything
  • It keeps the momentum for negotiation and resolution going

And here’s a bonus:  asking questions can elicit information you didn’t already have that you can use to settle the case.


For every fan of MLB, they usually want something to remember their idol. There are so many famous MLB teams, so there are so many items for their lovely fans to collect.  
Texas Rangers Store 
Now, welcome you to our famous online shop. Josh Hamilton Jersey
We mainly sell the jerseys of MLB players.Nelson Cruz Jersey
Not only the man's type, there are for women and kids. Yu Darvish Jersey
We got all the sizes, and you may pick whatever the numbers you like. Hamilton Jersey
About all, the quality of these jerseys selling in our shop is totally perpect. There is no reason for you to worry about. Thanks and welcome.Cruz Jersey
Posted @ Monday, April 23, 2012 3:23 AM by Matt Holliday Jersey
Do you need to get strong all the way up? fake louis vuitton Do you need a watch which could select your current run away explanation involving fashion? Look for a Fastrack enjoy. This can be one particular label of designer watches and that is made don't forget yourwants involving small Asia. rolex replica sale His or her odd patterns along with fashionable shade permutations almost never are not able to fascinate young people. hublot replica Your junior normally likes to research his or her impression involving fashion so really does Fastrack, which are your company increasingly desirable. fake rolex sale Every single series via Fastrack carries a fresh new impression involving fashion for it. fake hublot In addition, whatever manner affirmation you wish to create, Fastrack features only your watch out for anyone. Should you be a new fan in the fashionable, basic fashion, this specific company features designer watches using ordinary, classy dials. 
Posted @ Thursday, December 25, 2014 2:38 AM by ddffdfd
On top of that, a fuss band won't exactly search appropriate for a african american hand or simply a whitened arm aren't ready hold off browns and pale yellows as well. Stainless straps might be a vintage choice and get already been thus for cheap replica Bell & amp Ross BR 01-92 watches a long time. They look great upon anyone, although these are comfy for your needs. When, you have a task really best replica watches UK scorching location, metallic band is sometimes rather unpleasant because steel gets hotter. There are lots of components in the hardware realize that to mention they all replica Harry Winston watches might consider several years. With numerous look at manufacturers, with long replica Rolex watches background and imitation de qualite Bell & Ross montres norm of watchmaking, every activity deviates inside complexity coupled with design, even more enhancing the sheer numbers of pieces.
Posted @ Sunday, January 04, 2015 6:18 AM by Amymurphy
Post Comment
Website (optional)

Allowed tags: <a> link, <b> bold, <i> italics